⇦ FOLLOW? ⇨

Hello my dear readers, yes it's been way too long since I've posted. I've been going through a rough patch for the past month and I'm still trying to overcome some negativity in my life right now. Nonetheless, I would still like to give y'all an update.

I remember sitting in the library and nearly bursting into tears because I was convinced that no university wanted me. Being told everyday by your mother that no university wanted you and that that was the price to pay for everything that happened in my A Level journey made me realise how mediocre I was to my own mother. A's and B's weren't up to standard and I felt my chest tighten every time my mother would comment on lackluster attitude, how I was not determined enough and how I was weak.

I didn't know grades could change a person's attitude towards you, but I finally saw it in my mother who transformed into someone completely different after I did not get the grades she had expected me to get. She started commenting on how ugly I looked, how I should lose 7kg and how my hair needed to get treatment because it was ugly. She criticised my dressing and callously remarked how I dressed like an old lady. I suppose our quarrels over everything and anything I did wrong made me very famished; hungry for acceptance and love from my mother. I still love her all the same, I just want my love to be reciprocated.

I've made many mistakes in my A Level journey. I'm so afraid to make those mistakes again.

My first 2 chances given to me were interviews with SMU (accountancy) and NTU (Business). I was desperate. I was hungry for a place, and I fought hard during the interviews because I really wanted a place. Just one place. One chance.

Then last week, I was given many chances to get my life back in order again. To finally experience the famous saying "good things come to those who wait" was extremely liberating. To be able to choose where you wanted to go (and the courses you wanted) never felt so good. For so long I was reminded constantly how I fucked up my university choices...finally I am able to show all of you how happy I am to receive the following offers:


Receiving these offers was akin to striking the lottery for me. I cannot express how elated I was, and still am. I was literally jumping up and down for joy when the NTU and SMU offers came last weekend. :) I also received a call from MOE, inviting me for an interview for the MOE teaching scholarship...what are the odds of a non all-A student being considered for a scholarship?

And then finally, when I told my mother the good news, she said, "All the good news came at once. Good for you."

I'm most probably going to SMU Accountancy because that was the course I have been looking at for a very, very long time.

Dreams are coming true, and I cannot wait to start working my way towards them.