⇦ FOLLOW? ⇨

I don't like the way my uncle treats my aunt.

Every time I bump into my aunt she is always tired. Drained is the most appropriate word to describe what's left of her. The radiant glow that used to emanate from her body just vanished. Even though she tries to be happy in front of us I can see how much she has struggled, and still does.

...

My aunt and uncle don't have kids and they probably never will for the rest of their lives. Even though nobody says anything, everyone wonders why my aunt hasn't given the family a child yet. The blame is silently/subconsciously put on her, even when it is no one's fault to begin with. This is ludicrous; not being able to give birth isn't a wrongdoing/fault - you either can or cannot.

My uncle is a family-kind of man, and he would be a great family man if he had one of his own. He's good with kids and when the kids he used to take care of (my cousins and I) grow up, you can see him grow more and more sad, yearning even, to fill that void in his heart.

So now, he gets involved in other kids' lives, in girls' homes or in orphanages. He posts on Facebook the events he has helped to organise (e.g. ice skating event, christmas wishlists, etc.) and either asks for help/tells people about it/shares his experiences. In each post you can see him describe the children's reactions so vividly it is akin to describing the nuances of his own children's actions. All his friends are applauding his actions and are more than happy to chip in (as do I).

Now you may think this is great, why on earth do I have reservations?

He doesn't involve my aunt in any of his fundraising efforts/ projects to engage the children. Everything is done solo/with the help of his Facebook friends, including my aunt's relatives. How awkward is that? Blatantly recruiting your siblings' help while the wife herself isn't even in the picture. It's almost as if he didn't want her help.

Plus, with his job, he has to travel overseas quite often. In the process, on one hand he posts numerous times a day on his Facebook wall his amazing journeys and whatnot overseas, on the other, he always leaves my aunt alone at home and never really takes her along with him in any of his trips. He stays overseas for long periods of time and even goes to other countries in between if he can for a holiday (without his wife, if you can catch my drift already).While work trips are strictly work trips, I'm emphasising this because she's not even included in family trips. Last year, my uncle went with my other aunt (his sister), my grandma and my two cousins. My aunt wasn't even included for God's sake.

I could be over-reading everything, but my sister and I are congruent with the fact that we can sense a failing marriage, but they're holding on to the marriage for the sake of it.

My sister and I have tried to be there for my aunt, inviting her to lunch with just the two of us and the three of us can have a girls' time out. However, she assumes my uncle is included so she always asks us to hold on and let her check with his schedule. When we tell her we just want it to be between the 3 of us, she backs off and says she may have something on so it's not a good idea.

There are many other failing marriages in my entire family tree which I won't write about here for now because I get very, very angry when I think about it. Even writing this post makes my blood boil. I decided to talk about this because it's been going on for a very, very long time, even more so now for whatever reason and it makes me feel sick in the stomach.

I'm always in support of my aunt. Only God knows what she has had to deal with for the last few years. My sister and I will always be there for her, even if she doesn't know it.

...

It's quite funny, when my uncle and aunt got married I thought they were perfect for each other. Their personalities complemented each other's and they way they spoke to each other was full of zest.

Now it seems that the life-support machine has been switched off.